Five Times the Winchesters Were Thanked
by Cap Streeter
Summary: “So you want me to steal some radishes?” asked Dean just to make sure he was hearing this request right.


_5 Times the Winchesters were thanked_

_Disclaimer: Do I own? Nope just DAMN YOU KRIPKE! That last episode, I just need giggles. Also I own none of the other places the Winchester boys encounter in this piece of crack._

_Summary: "So you want me to steal some radishes?" asked Dean._

_Crack of the highest order. Dedicated to my prima, who encourage my first foray into this fandom. Also let me know of any problems and I will fix._

_And just crossover with: 1. Futurama 2. Waitress 3. Venture Brothers 4. Fraggle Rock 5. Pushing Daisies_

1.

There were reports of a car running down people in Detroit. Both brothers wondered if it was similar to what happened in Missouri. Turned out it was even more ridiculous than a racist truck.

Some mad scientists, as Dean called them, Sam just rolled his eyes, these guys were idiots plain and simple. They had set up shop in the abandoned Chrysler plant. Turns out they had built what they considered the most evil car ever and were using parts the from other cars. In particular the left turn signal from an old VW, the steering wheel from an even older Mercedes and wind shield wipers from what looked like KITT from Knight Rider.

Of course Dean's mad scientist theory proved true when the car came to life, then hit and killed several of the people working on it. They managed to save five of the mad scientists. One finally admitted that they were working on a top secret project called Project Satan. The car was impossible to destroy.

The brothers refused to believe it but several days later, and two dead mad scientists later, accepted the fact that the car was indestructible. They sealed the car in the Chrysler plant and hoped no one tried to break in.

The remaining mad scientists in their thanks then did something to the Impala. Now they could get 100 miles to the gallon.

2.

It was a diner called Lulu's. There had been a death involving a newer waitress impaled on an ice cream scoop. The fact that Lulu's was home to the best pies south of the Mason Dixie Line had nothing to do with the fact that Dean wanted to visit the place.

Someone had to investigate it and hell they were only a six hour drive away.

Turned out it was the owner's ex-husband. He was a real dick who in process of trying to torch the place had accidentally killed himself. Still a dick in one life, tends to be a dick in the next. Strangely enough the owner not only believed them but seemed fine with the idea of digging up her ex's grave and salting and burning the remains. Of course it could have been because it seemed like the spirit was targeting their daughter and namesake of the diner.

There was a peace now in Lulu's that had not been felt since his death. The owner then told Dean anytime they came they could have pie; free for life. The next day they left with several different types of pie and Dean had several half moon marks on his shoulder blades from the hot older blond waitress.

3.

They were hunting a werewolf just outside Buffalo when their paths crossed with some truly strange stuff. The werewolf went into some strange abandoned location under a drive in movie theatre. Both had managed to keep up until they got into the underground bunker when a guy wearing a ridiculous outfit attacked them.

Sam went ahead while Dean fought the guy. His long legs carried him down the hallway that became a cat walk above a large missile silo where even more guys in ridiculous outfits were walking around. He watched the werewolf jump off the cat walk onto the ground below. Suddenly several dozen men in tan jumpsuits appeared out of nowhere and started attacking the guys wearing the even more ridiculous outfits.

The werewolf was confused by the melee. Still from his high ground Sam took aim and fired twice hitting the werewolf and the guy who seemed to be leading the guys in the more ridiculous outfits. That's when masses of rubber tubing fell on top of him.

Minutes later he was pulled from the pile by a large guy; built like a Winnebago.

"You okay?" asked the man.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Did I get the werewolf?"

"Yes and you managed to get Phantom Limb. You're better than several of my fellow agents."

"Um…okay. Hey have you seen my brother?" asked Sam looking around. "Name's Dean."

"Heh. You're name doesn't happen to be Hank?"

"Uh no…I'm Sam. Why?"

"Eh, never mind. Well thank you, to you both. Sphinx is in your debt and don't worry we'll make sure the corpse is salted and burned," said the man who nodded and walked away.

Sam found Dean several minutes later knocked out.

"You okay Dean?"

"Yeah. We got it right?"

"Yeah but…"

"But what?"

"I think something else is going on here. Some dude in a tan body suit said Sphinx was in our debt. I think he was a secret agent."

"Well I think you have a concussion."

Months later they were pulled in for questioning at a police station. Not even five minutes later a man in a designer suit walked into the interrogation room and said they were free to go.

"What the hell is this?" asked Dean.

"Sphinx never forgets to repay a debt," said the man who then turned and walked away.

Sam just looked at Dean.

"Okay so maybe he was a secret agent."

4.

Dean could not help but continue to stare at the little purple-pink, mauve Sam had called her, orange guy and the green guy. They wore clothes but it was sort of like how Donald Duck wore clothes, they had tops but not really covering anything.

"So what is it you want us to do?" asked Dean he was currently sitting with his knees basically by his ears.

"You could help us get more radishes," said Gobo.

"Well if we just killed the Gorgs you guys could have all the radishes you want."

"We don't want you to kill them, just disable the traps they've set up. Otherwise who will grow our radishes?"

"What about those little green guys? The Dozers."

"No they just like to build things, they're really not farmers."

"Well what about you guys?"

"We just like to dance and play…"

When suddenly that damn bass line came out of nowhere, which Dean knew would lead into that damn song, where they would tell him to dance his damn cares away.

"Damn it…" said Dean who watched the musical number for the forth time in the past hour.

"Well we could ask Marjory," said Mokey as if they did not just break out into song.

"Listen I'm not talking to that trash heap again. She's the one who brought us here and she freaks me out."

"Dean you should not be scared by Marjory she is a wise and good rubbish heap. I think she just realized how dire our situation was, that's why she brought you two here. So if you can somehow disable the traps I think you can then go back."

"So that's it. Just disable the traps?"

"Yes but if you could also get some radishes, I'd be more than willing to help."

"No it's okay I got Sam."

"I think he's currently under the spell of the magical pipe," said Mokey gesturing over to where Sam sat cross-legged with Red and Wembley.

Dean looked over to see his brother giggling and passing the pipe.

"Sammy how you feeling?"

"I feel great Dean, in fact I think I could dance my cares away," said Sam.

Then that damn bass line started up again, except this time Sam joined in and did what Dean assumed was dancing. Well as much as a man who's 6'4" can in a cave that housed two foot tall creatures.

"So you want me to steal some radishes?" asked Dean after the song ended for the fifth time, just to make sure he was hearing this request right.

"Yes and disable the traps," said Mokey. "But mainly radishes."

"Okie-Dokie."

Following that the Winchesters had to crawl out of the little guys home, where Dean disabled the traps and Sam stole enough radishes that they had a feast in honor of them. They were gifted with pop top necklaces and the Dozers built statues of them.

"We thank you Winchesters," said Boober just before they were suddenly back in the Impala.

Strangely enough from that day on they never had to buy another pair of socks and the ones they did have were always clean.

5.

The facts were these…

Dean and Sam Winchester were hunters of the supernatural from Lawrence, Kansas. As hunters of the supernatural they often listened for strange and unusual stories. Of those stories they had heard numerous reports of a dead woman running around solving mysteries. She was not killing anyone; in fact she was helping solve seemingly unsolvable crimes. They decided to investigate. They had traced her location to a pie shop where they had just ordered two slices of pie.

There the private investigator Emerson Cod looked at these two men in ill fitting second hand suits and knew something was up. He knew his fair share of insurance men and these two did not fit the profile.

"Finish your pie sweetie," he said to his newly found daughter. "I'm going to go talk to Ned."

"Yes Daddy," said the young Cod.

Emerson walked into the kitchen to see Ned showing Chuck how to bake an apple crumb pie.

"Ned I think we have a problem."

"What type of problem? There's not enough ice cream on your pie problem or I need hide and change my name problem?"

"I'm not quite sure, but come here. Two guys who just walked in, I overheard them claim to Olive that they're insurance men."

Ned walked over to the window in the door. He followed Emerson's gaze to the two men: one seemed to be inhaling the apple crumb pie and the other was slowly making his way through a cherry pie. Still they looked like any other type of paper pushers who passed through the shop.

"What are you two looking at?"

"These two guys," said Ned pointing out the two men. "Emerson thinks they're bad news."

"Let me see," said Chuck who walked over to look out into the dining area.

In that moment that Chuck looked at the two men both looked up and all three knew that look.

"Oh hell no!"

"Chuck I think it would be advisable for you to head out the back," said Ned.

"Eh, I don't think that'd work. I think the human vacuum is going out the back to catch our fair dead girl here," said the private investigator.

"Aw, thanks Emerson for thinking I'm fair."

"Thank me when we figure out what these guys want and get rid of them."

"Well they obviously know all about me being dead."

"That might not be it."

"Ned come on. What else would cause two shifty eyed pretending to be insurance men go on red alert when they see Chuck?"

"Did you enter any honey contests maybe?" asked Ned of Chuck.

"Seriously pie maker?" said Emerson in disbelief.

That's when a loud crash behind the trio caused all three to turn around to see the elder Winchester brother Dean attempting to be sneaky but had in fact, due to Ned neglecting his duties in the back, tripped over a mixing bowl.

The loud commotion caused the younger of the Winchester brothers Sam to come running into the back with Olive screaming something and somehow the petite waitress was hanging off his back beating him about the head with her note pad that she had just earlier taken down his order.

The reason for Olive Snook to come thoroughly unhinged was due to upon noticing these two men who were obviously lying liars who lie enter the pie shop, Emerson's tensing of shoulders then going in the back, followed by the shorter one leaving the tall one the check after noticing her should be dead friend. Well Olive Snook knew something was up. So when there was a loud crash in the back, followed by the tall one getting up with a gun suddenly in his hand, the waitress flew into action. She jumped on his back, even though in hindsight it would obviously be almost entirely ineffective.

Still the two came into the kitchen distracting the elder Winchester enough for Emerson Cod to slip behind him and pull out an expansive circular metal knitting needle and wrap it around his throat. Olive then managed to pull the gun out of the younger Winchester brother's hand. She held it to the tall man's back.

The events that followed were the brothers tried to get out of their hold not expecting the slight waitress and unassuming private investigator to keep them held. The pie maker realized that they could not solve this problem if they did not know what these men wanted.

During this time period Emerson Cod's daughter happened to walk into the kitchen to see people she loved fighting with the two men who just walked in. She stood there and listened as the pie maker asked who the men were. They answered truthfully and honestly that they were brother's who fought supernatural creatures. They heard reports of a dead woman, thinking her a zombie they in their duties had to stop supernatural creatures.

Ned with help from Chuck told the story of who they were, what happened to Chuck and his powers to bring people back to life with one touch, then once again take it away with a second touch. How Chuck was his childhood sweetheart who he brought back from the dead and that they could never touch.

The pie maker then demonstrated his abilities by picking up a piece of dead fruit. The two Winchester brothers, one with an Olive Snook and gun on his back, the other with a circular need around his throat, watched the strawberry come back to life then die a second time when Ned touched it again.

Both brothers were speechless. Eventually someone spoke up. It was the only person in the room who was not an adult but in that moment demonstrated more wisdom than most adults do in their lives.

"Everyone should stop fighting, Chuck is not bad. She has never hurt anyone and she's not a zombie. The brothers are not bad, they do good. So everyone should just stop," said the young Cod.

"You know she's right," said a new voice that belonged to a man wearing a trench coat. "Sam and Dean thank you for helping me find Chuck."

The man in the trench coat then walked over to Chuck and touched her cheek. With that a light filled Chuck's eyes causing her to fall over backwards across the chopping board. Ned ran over to the man in the trench coat who leaned forward and whispered something in the pie maker's ear, then disappeared.

The pie maker looked down at his love and with one finger touched her lips. She did not go cold like she was supposed to. Instead she once again awoke, this time however free to share a kiss without use of plastic wrap. She wrapped her arms around the pie maker's neck and the couple started to kiss.

"Help me down Gigantor," said Olive to Sam.

Ever the gentleman Sam Winchester assisted Olive Snook off his back. All the while they and the other three occupants continued to watch the couple kiss.

"Shouldn't she be dead?" said a very confused Dean.

"Yeah, she's dead girl, she should be," confirmed Emerson who released Dean from the knitting needle grasp. "Just who was that guy?"

"An angel."

"An angel?!" said Emerson in disbelief. "Where's his wings and halo?"

"I think he hides them."

That next day was a first for Sam and Dean Winchester. They attended their first wedding, it was of the pie-maker to the formerly dead girl. The newlyweds left to start their honeymoon and the Winchester brothers left with a backseat full of pies.

Several months later Castiel arrived with a birth announcement of the twin boys Dean and Sam Charles to Ned and Charlotte "Chuck" Charles. Along with an apple crumb pie.

_-Fine_

_A/N: Holy run-on Batman! Let me know will fix. Also I hope at least one made you smile. Cheers. 1. Futurama 2. Waitress 3. Venture Brothers 4. Fraggle Rock 5. Pushing Daisies_


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